What is the mindset of successful affiliates? You’ve probably heard it’s important having a “positive mindset”? But what does that really mean? We can’t be “positive” all the time, endlessly giving ourselves tasks to do to drive our business forwards. There’s other parts of ourselves which need attention and if we fail to listen to them, they will speak in other ways to get your attention – even if that means “failure” to our conscious mind.
“We are not the highest version of ourselves that we can imagine, we are the lowest version of ourselves that we can accept” – Sam Ovens
So even when we strive for something, sacrificing parts of ourselves in the process, when we reach the “pinnacle” of what we set out to achieve, we celebrate and fall back towards our comfort zones, the status quo and the lowest standards which we will accept.
The graph of this pattern looks a little like this:
The Mindset Of Successful Affiliates – Highs And Lows
This pattern is a universal phenonenum and appears throughout life in many facets, not just in business. Have a look at other areas of your life and you should see the same thing happening. We aspire to a high level, only to fall back to our lowest acceptable standards. It is here we become demoralised with our results. We feel disgust at ourselves for letting our lives fall so low! With newly created energy (in the form of anger, for example) we are highly motivated by our pain. The emotion drives the behaviour to push us towards our goals.
At the peak of the curve we have hit our goal. The work we have put in appears in the form of what we have deemed “success”. We start to celebrate and we fall back into our comfort zone towards our lowest acceptable standards where the process begins again. In the celebration of success we feel pride and there is no pain as before when we are at the base of the curve.
If you’ve experience difficulty in attaining some goal of some kind, it’s likely that your subconscious mind is sabotaging your results in some way.
The Mindset Of Successful Affiliates- How To “Hack” The Trend
To change things in terms of this pattern of behaviour, you need to understand the emotions which drive your behaviour. At the base, you feel regret, anger, remorse and perhaps even disgust. At the top, you feel joy, happiness, pride and pleasure. In the middle is where you generally exist (your comfort zone).
To change things on a more permanent basis you need to shift the graph base line as well as the graph peak. So the peaks and troughs trend upwards like this:
Setting a loftier goal doesn’t help since you’ll only have further to fall back down towards the trough once you achieve the “pinnacle” you have chosen as “success” for you. So the answer is to lift the toughs up and the peaks.
The Mindset Of Successful Affiliates – Why Parts Of You Don’t Care!
Despite what you tell yourself about what you want for your life, there’s another side of you which sabotages your success; the part of you that doesn’t want to work, is lazy and entitled, or just plain doesn’t care about your goals.
So no matter how much you attempt to discipline yourself, do the work and stay motivated, you’re going to come up against this unconscious saboteur.
Unless you become conscious of this part of yourself, and its needs, you’re going to keep hitting the brick wall and experiencing fatigue, burn out and conflict.
As Carl Jung put it “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate“.
Mindset Of Successful Affiliates – The Inner Child & Trauma
C.G. Jung said : “In every adult there lurks a child – an eternal child, something that is becoming, is never completed and calls for unceasing care, attention and education. That is the part of the human personality which waits to develop and become whole.” Are you in touch with your inner child?
C.G. Jung : CW 17 The Development of the Unconscious
If you’ve experienced any trauma you’re likely holding some of it still in your body unconsciously. Processing childhood trauma allows you to integrate your child self with your adult self and this can help you understand and process buried trauma which might be affecting you from your past.
This trauma can act as a behaviour inhibitor, keeping you “safe” inside your comfort zones. Whenever you attempt to shift the boundaries of your comfort zone, which might be a particular goal for example, you experience this trauma.
Dealing With Trauma – Parts Integration Exercise
Dealing with trauma is a process and you might want to seek out a qualified therapist if you have a particularly traumatic event to process. This work is known as shadow work or “inner child work“.
There’s also a relatively simple NLP exercise you can do which can help overcome self sabotage.
Start by sitting comfortably somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Start by relaxing your mind and taking a few deep breaths.
Place your hands palm upside on your lap. In your dominant hand place the part of you which wants you to succeed and reach your full potential. In your other hand put the part of you which sabotages or stops you.
Place your hands together and let the two parts sit together for a while so they can figure it out on a subconscious level. Now the two parts of yourself can both achieve their positive intentions for you without being in conflict with each other.
The deeper you can go when practicing this exercise the more effective you’ll find it to be.
Why Motivation Alone Doesn’t Work
If you’re struggling in any area of life, there’s a strong chance that there’s a subconscious factor in play. By getting in touch with the many parts of yourself, you can discover why certain behaviours might be sabotaging your best efforts and intentions.
Unless you listen and integrate these inner parts of yourself, they will continue to wreak havoc on your goals and intentions, however hard you try. You simply can’t overcome such strong emotions which are driving your behaviour internally by motivation and will power alone.
Here’s the video which clued me up to this trend from Charlie Morgan. If this post rings true for you it’s well worth watching the video in its entirety. Thanks again Charlie for this life changing video! If you want to learn more about affiliate marketing you can grab the free video series here.
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